TROLL 2 (1990)
Eat Your Icecream!
Let me start off with this small disclaimer…
WARNING: Once you see and experience this film… your life WILL be changed. For the better? For the worse? That’s all depending on you.
I almost had to create a new ratings classification for this mystical film of wonders.
Don’t get me wrong…. This is a horrible… HORRIBLE… movie.
But DAMN… is it a blast to watch.
EVERY aspect is tainted with failure. Every deparment had its own attribution that helped make it one of the WORST FILMS EVER MADE. There is not one single thing that even comes close to attempting redemption to the cinematic world. And that’s why we all love it. Across the world, moviegoers flock to midnight showings dressed in attire based off the film. Many consider this the next generation’s ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.
The Acting- After seeing the documentary ‘Best Worst Movie’, I quickly understood what went wrong. Only two or three actors out of the entire cast were aiming to become professional actors. The rest already had careers in other lines of work; ranging from Dentistry to Church Missionaries. One was an actual patient at a Mental Hospital. (To be honest, the guy seems great, but during that time… he admits that he had no idea what was even going on).
Some of the characters are so over the top, it had me cringe at times, feeling embarrassment for the actors. The Dialogue sounding unnatural (and just plain weird) probably didn’t help the performance of the actors. Not to mention the face-palmingly stupid actions of every single character, which probably was the final straw that had the actors give up on their performance at some times. A teenage guy is bleeding, holding a cup of boiling mysterious substances, watching a woman melting away into green ooze and being devoured by deformed midgets… and he doesn’t run away, refrain from continuing drinking the ‘broth’, or even getting the fuck out of there.
The Plot- Doesn’t really make any sense. A suburban family decides to house-swap with a farming family in some small town in the middle of nowhere. They find out that the town is run by Vegetarian Goblins, not Trolls, who attempt to transform the humans into plants… to… eat them…
So Joshua, with the help of his dead grandfather, try to take down the kingdom of the goblins and help his family return home.
GORE- I wouldn’t really call it gore, since its green slime and ooze. But we got children turning into trees, cut/trimmed by a chainsaw, chicks being dissolved and eaten, ministers set on fire, and midgets getting cut up.
This film, although lacking good quality filmmaking, is full of wonder and charm. Every viewing I somehow manage to pick up something new that I like. There is NEVER a dull moment in this movie.
YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE.